A Father in the Making

Eventful pregnancy - long absence

2008-01-29T19:52:00.000-08:00

It's been a rather tumultuous ride these last few months, hence the absence. We had to relocate back to Singapore (due to job commitments) recently. Together with the stresses of packing, moving, looking for a place to stay, we also had to deal with some unexpected events - wifey was found to have pregnancy induced high blood pressure as well as impaired glucose tolerance. This meant daily blood pressure monitoring, 2x per week blood sugar testing (finger prick!) and even an admission to hospital! S$3,200 later (cash), we finally decided to shift to a restructured hospital since we anticipated that our doctor visits will likely be weekly for awhile.

Good news is, mother and baby are now doing fine. We are in our 37th week and counting and looking towards a full term baby just after Chinese New Year. Activities are in full swing to prepare the nursery, last minute purchases and frantic reading up on the labour/birth process. D-day is near!

Boy or Girl?

2007-09-17T03:59:00.000-07:00

We are now in the window of opportunity where people start asking if we know whether we are having a boy or girl... Had our scan last week and our official answer is "Baby was not co-operative, we can't be sure yet!"

I took this chance to ask our parents and friends and the decision is rather split:

My mom: Boy will be nice

My dad: Boy or girl is fine (but he prefers a girl says mom)

Wifey's mom: Girl

Wifey's dad: We shall call him Keith...

Truth be told, Dr. S said he was 80% sure of the gender. He even wrote a note on the ultrasound pointing to the genitalia and labeling the sex of the baby.

We are not telling yet... The final answer will be out next month during our 'detailed scan'. Wifey is already planning to go to town with the baby clothes this weekend! Don't care, just buy!

A Wife's prerogative

2007-09-07T09:02:00.000-07:00

Today, I had a minor argument with wifey. The issue was whether I felt that she was wasting away her time when she should instead be "productive" and do something "intellectually stimulating". I then further contradict myself by telling her that because she is pregnant (and carrying my flesh and blood), she should take this time to enjoy herself and for once in her adult life not have to worry about working since it's probably gonna get rather busy once the little tike is born.

Truth be told, I actually bet (with myself) when wifey was starting her no-pay leave that she wouldn't last a month in Bangkok without work to occupy her. I mean... she hasn't not-work a single day (well almost...) since she graduate from Uni! I was confidently thinking up of all the many tasks that she could/would do once she came begging for something to kill her boredom. Perhaps she could run my company for me... or get a part-time job, or perhaps even want to start a new business... More than a month has passed and suffice to say, I lost the bet.

In between yoga classes and lunch with pregnant friends (it so happened that 2 of her good friends in Bangkok are pregnant at around the same time, they say pregnancy is contagious) there's also the game called memorizing the floor plans of all major shopping malls in Bangkok. When she's home, there are loads of DVDs and movies to keep her more than occupied.

Perhaps I'm jealous of her freedom? But have I forgotten that in the past 3 years, she was the one that "brought home the bacon" while I happily assumed the position of "spouse on post"? Besides putting up with office politics and a bitchy female boss, she had to deal with a natural disaster (tsunami), protests at the Embassy (one was a few thousand strong), elections, a military (bloodless) coup to name a few... I think I have been a selfish pig. This time of pregnancy should be her own to do whatever she wishes. My job is to support her to ensure that she stays happy everyday and perhaps baby will be happy too. Yes I think I can do that...

A husband's purpose during pregnancy

2007-09-05T02:36:00.000-07:00

Got this from Helium.com. Very useful article to new father's asking what the heck they are supposed to do during their wive's pregnancy! I certainly found myself wondering that a few days ago... I mean, I think I did okay during the first trimester, supporting wifey when she felt pukey, letting her order 5 types of food knowing full well she wasn't going to be able to finish it (hence me the vacuum...) etc. She's enjoying herself much more now, shopping, eating and meeting friends. Suddenly, I don't feel so useful anymore? Read the article below... it seems we are quite important afterall... phew!

We Need You Daddy - from Helium.com
To most wives pregnancy is exciting and beautiful. We can't wait to tell family and friends. We plan our baby shower. We even pick out baby names before we know the sex of our baby. Becoming a mother makes you feel like a real woman more than anything else you experience.

Men see pregnancy different. They think of the expenses, the weight gain of their wives, insecurity of being a good provider, and will the sex be the same. Husbands and wives think about different things when it comes to pregnancy.

A wife wants her husband to be apart of every event that occurs during the pregnancy. After all he did make the baby. It is important that the husband listen to his wife when she talks about the pregnancy. When their is good communication, the wife won't become stressed. Yes, women will have days when their hormones are out of control. Husbands be patient. She's carrying your child. A hug, kiss, or back rub will get everything under control. Women love to be touched and held during pregnancy. Tell your wife she is beautiful. Most women have a special glow. We feel good about ourselves when you tell us we look good.

Having your partners support makes nine months of pregnancy a lot easier. Support in the delivery room is especially important. A lot of moms are scared because they don't know what to expect. We look at our husbands as our protectors and supporters. With our husbands assisting us in the delivery room we can be calm and not afraid.

Husbands we need you.

Things to buy for baby... Faint!

2007-08-31T04:36:00.000-07:00

My Mrs just sent me an email with the subject "Things to buy for baby... Useful list!". I clicked the link and suddenly felt faint... it was a long list!! See it yourself here: http://www.gothemilkyway.com/pregnancy_whattobuy.asp.

The site, called Milky Way, actually belongs to a mother of 2 who learned the hard way how and what to do during and after her pregnancy. Aside from being a compilation of her experiences, this site also carries some merchandise for the Expectant Mum, Nursing Mum and Little Ones. From the reviews, it seems like the mummies out there really like the clothes they bought from this site. Anyone reading this ever tried buying stuff from them? It would be nice if I could surprise Mrs with something nice since she keeps thinking that she's putting on weight (!!!) and will never regain her figure... is it really that hard to look glam when a woman is pregnant? I think Mrs looks fabulous but she of course doesn't believe what I tell her...

Catching up with old classmates

2007-08-24T01:28:00.000-07:00

We have been away from Singapore for the last 4 years and have not kept in touch with many of our old classmates. I sent an email to my secondary school batch of friends to inform them of our good news yesterday and received a flurry of congratulations as well as updates on their family-building efforts... Here are some comments:

"Congrats! When is Mrs due? BTW, my second son is due end Oct 2007"
"Congratulations! Nothing is impossible, we are all walking examples" says mother of 3 (!!)
"... on the local front, XL's SECOND son is due sometime soon and EY's THIRD son is due November..."

For the record, we are NOT that old! With wifey just barely 30, we should be one of the younger couples no? In seems like all the baby-making incentives by the Singapore government is bearing fruit. I never expected that monetary incentives will ever be effective in improving our country's birth rate but I guess I was wrong. Over here in Bangkok, wifey is the youngest mother to be among her group of expatriate friends...

Anyway, all this makes me think that if they can do it, I'm sure we won't fare too badly... I am a medically-trained doctor! Wifey has been hit by the occasional "I think we are not ready dear". In my opinion, we can never be totally ready; there's never an optimal time to be preggers! We are fortunate to have some savings such that we can live on a single income for awhile. Seeing wifey go through a rather torrid first trimester, I wonder how women out there drag themselves to work every day after hugging the toilet bowl the whole night before? A new level of respect I now give to all mothers and mothers-to-be out there... Us hubbies can never understand fully what you are going through and will not pretend to. If we sometimes absentmindedly offer a "I know how you are feeling dear" rubbish, and get an earful from you, we deserve it!

Wifey finally enjoying the pregnancy

2007-08-23T10:17:00.000-07:00

After a rather depressing first trimester of the usual toilet bowl hugging, bloatedness and poor appetite, it seems like the Mrs is finally getting to enjoy herself! Her schedule today after tucking in to the breakfast I made her included a nice morning outing with a friend, lunch at the shopping center, short meeting with some interview candidates followed by high tea with 2 other pregnant friends and Italian for dinner. When she finally came home (after me), she declared that she was hungry and wanted instant noodles!

"Are you trying to starve your baby?" arms akimbo.

"Of course not dear..." as I looked longingly at the noodles. I managed only 2 small mouthfuls before she wolfed it all down.

Seriously, I am happy that she is starting to eat better now... The last few weeks have been the usual "Order many dishes but eat only a bite of each and she's full" routine. Guess who's the food vacuum... at times, our friends wonder if it's me who's preggers.

Do we have a potato baby?

2007-08-22T10:25:00.000-07:00

Wifey declares that our little baby may be a potato. It seems that whenever she eats 'Ang-Moh' food, she feels just fine after that but try her favourite Asian dishes and she gets the bloat. She found a solution today, the perfect blend of East and West.

For those eternally fortunate souls living in foodey Singapore, there is only ONE MOS burger branch in Bangkok where we live which opened just this year. Get this... there were QUEUES when it first opened!

Rumour was that the former PM was a fan of MOS burger when he visited Singapore. I wonder if there is MOS in London where he is self-exiled now...

BAMBI - not the fawn

2007-08-20T11:43:00.000-07:00

BAngkok association of Mothers and BabIes. BAMBI is a mother-led volunteer organization that provides information, support and companionship for pregnant women, mothers of babies and small children. BAMBI was founded nearly 25 years ago as a project of the Childbirth and Breastfeeding Foundation of Thailand. http://www.bambiweb.org/.

I must say I was pretty excited for wifey when I discovered this club. Great! I can now shove the responsibility of finding out all those answers about all those things to an experienced groups of expatriate mothers based in Bangkok! They have a bi-monthly meeting called Bumps and Babies just for expectant mothers or those who have recently given birth. We are gonna attend a meeting next Thursday to check them out!

Our first appointment!

2007-08-14T23:29:00.000-07:00

We had our first appointment with Dr. S today and by all accounts, it was nothing like the ones we had in Singapore! Yes we had to wait an hour before we saw the doctor but when we stepped into his room, he started apologising to us! "Hello! I am really sorry to have made you guys wait so long!" Now that's something we will never expect doctors to say in Singapore.. trust me, I am a doctor remember?

Dr. S was very careful and detailed, and polite (almost too polite we think!) at all times. After explaining all the different blood tests available for the expectant mother, he said "Will you please allow me to perform the tests on you? It will be very useful for me to have a baseline as I manage your pregnancy in the coming month." He was asking for our permission! During the examination (PAP smear etc), he was highly apologetic all the way, excusing himself for "not impressing us on our first visit". Wifey felt kinda strange, so accustomed to being ordered by doctors back in Singapore to "do this" or "do that".

We had a tour of the birthing unit and nurseries and were suitably impressed. In the birthing rooms (called labour wards in Singapore), the atmosphere was serene. No wailing womens, shouting midwives and harried-looking house officers to be seen. I remember (cringing) my duties in the labour ward as a house officer... no way did KK Hospital look like that! Each of the birthing rooms were painted pink with dimmed lights and best of all - 4 delivery position options! As was explained to us, wifey can choose to lie on the bed, on the floor, on the recliner chair or in the hot tub! I will post pictures next time... you have to see to believe this! I am really looking forward to a water birth; perhaps I can get into the tub as well.

Which hospital should we choose?

2007-08-14T11:11:00.000-07:00

One of the big issues of giving birth overseas is the question of where to do it, who to see, how much to pay etc etc... Back home in Singapore, the decision was relatively easy. Ask around and you will most likely get a good recommendation on a few obstetricians at Thomson Medical, Mount Alvernia or one of the Parkway Hospitals depending on how much you want to pay. Although I have been working with hospital partners in Bangkok for close to 4 years, I am no closer to an answer today... We decided to take a tour of the famous Samitivej Hospital, well known for their mother and baby friendly practices. In fact, they are the only WHO and Unicef accredited Baby-Friendly hospital in Thailand.

We hear that Samitivej Hospital is also famous for water births. Now that's something I have to see for myself!

Me a father?

2007-08-13T09:30:00.000-07:00

My mother tells me that I never finish anything I start, and this time is no different. This blog is dedicated to my lovely wife currently carrying our little bundle of joy. This blog shall be a chronicle of the next stage in our life and shall never be finished but continually updated... at least that is my promise today.

A quick intro: I am a Singapore-trained medical doctor doing goodness-knows-what in Bangkok working as anything-but-a-doctor. Wifey has just taken no-pay leave to commence her short tenure here as a Tai-Tai (without the associated $$ she notes) while embarking on this new journey.

Some credit should be given here. http://ahusband.blogspot.com/ was my initial inspiration to start this blog. After a few weeks of procrastination, I have finally started. Oh boy! There is so much to write about!